Compiled by Patrick Avenell

Whether you’re parents to a young prince waking to the constant flashing of camera lenses outside your trendy London nursery or more comparable to the millions of other couples in the Commonwealth, you still need to have the right appliances for when you take the new heir back to Kensington Palace (or Kensington in South Sydney).

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Breville Baby Banquet BBY400 (RRP $199)

Treat the new third in line for the throne to a tasty treat from a proud Empire brand. “The steamer runs on an 800-watt heating element, while the blender has a 200-watt motor and a pulse function for complete control over the consistency of baby food,” said a spokesperson.

Uniden Baby Watch BW 3101 (RRP $199)

 

On 9 July 1982, 18 days after Prince William’s birth, Michael Fagan climbed over the walls of Buckingham Palace, walked to the castle, scaled a drainpipe, entered a window, walked to Queen Elizabeth II’s bedroom, entered while she slept, woke her up and asked for a cigarette. And he did this all without being detected in the fresh prince of Cambridge’s great-grandmother’s home.

“For parents seeking a baby monitor with all the bells and whistles, Uniden’s Baby Watch range will satisfy.  Uniden’s unique Baby Watch Skype app compatibility enables Apple, Android and Windows smartphone and tablet users to securely view their baby from anywhere in the world, a handy feature for parents who may have to travel interstate or internationally for work but don’t want to miss a thing.”

Nespresso Umilk (RRP $299)

One for the Duke and Duchess, and their army of live-in servants, who will no doubt be short on sleep and desperate for a pick-me-up. Depending on how amenable the couple is feeling, they could even throw some pods to the legion of journalists, photographers and cameraman who have no doubt forged a groove in the footpath outside St Mary’s Hospital.

“With Umilk, simplicity is the ultimate sophistication in functionality and design, its minimalist, contemporary
look fitting neatly into any living space,” said a spokesperson.

Janosch Microwave Steam Bottle Steriliser JBY40 (RRP $49)

The Queen’s husband, Prince Philip, was born with the surname Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glücksburg (you can’t make this stuff up) but changed it to Mountbatten to distance himself from anti-German sentiment. But with the world a different place now, no doubt the young prince will have no hesitation in having his bottle sterilised by Janosch, a sub-brand of Beurer, based in Ulm, in southern Germany.

“The Janosch Microwave Steam Bottle Steriliser is quick and highly effective, disinfecting up to 5 bottles in just five minutes. Compact, lightweight and dishwasher safe, it is suitable for all common microwaves and conventional feeding bottles,” said a spokesperson.

Avent by Philips Feeding Bottle SCF660/27 (RRP $30.95)

Our young prince has a whole life of corporate events and ribbon cuttings to attend to over the next 80 years so he better get used to suffering in silence.

“Fussing is by far the most commonly known crying behaviour in babies. The Philips Avent Advanced Classic feeding bottle significantly reduced colic and fussing…especially at night,” said a spokesperson.

Dyson Hard

Babies equal mess, no matter how princely, and what better product to clean up that mess than one devised by a knight and his Cyclonic Table of engineers?

“Propelled by the power dense Dyson digital motor, our engineers have designed a machine that vacuums and mops simultaneously. One machine, two jobs: one action,” said Sir James of Dyson.